It was October 1994, while waiting to get the bus to work, I enviously watched workers climb the steps of an office building and wished I was going inside with them, rather than to the shop I managed. I had been unhappy in my job for a while and often thought about changing career, however, my fearful, insecure thinking, always led me to believe it would be too difficult to start over. In fact, I had become increasingly unhappy with other aspects of my life at that time too, I was in a five-year relationship which was going nowhere, and was living in a small bed-sit. In those moments I remembered l had read about the power of the Universe, it said something along the lines of ask for what you want and believe you can have it, I half laughed to myself as I put out as a challenge, that I pretty much wanted a new life.
A few weeks later while visiting a friend in Scotland, I admitted to her how unhappy I was feeling, explaining I felt trapped in my life and didn’t know what to do to change it. She suggested I leave Ireland, offering me a place to stay with her anytime I felt ready to start over. During the next couple of months I thought about it a lot, varying between fearful thinking around all the changes I would have to make and excitement about the possibilities those changes might bring. Thankfully, I decided to take a chance and do it. I told my boyfriend I was moving away, gave notice to my employer and landlord and set a date to move to Scotland. As it got closer I was excited at the prospect of starting a new life there, however, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit terrified too. As I lay in bed on my first night there, I was glad to have the music from my headphones drown out all the worrying thoughts that were going around in my head. Within a few days I began to settle in and managed to get a part-time job in a local bar, which was good fun and a great way of meeting people.
Soon after, I got a new job as a receptionist, which involved using a computer, as I had never used one before, I was sent on a training course and remember lighting up with excitement as I took to it really quickly. At the end of the training I knew I wanted to learn more and was looking forward to starting in my new role. Unfortunately, during my time with this company, I had my first experience of discrimination, while I had done very well in the interviews leading me to be offered the position, when It came time to meet the owner of the company, he made no secret of the fact he was unhappy I had got the job, taking every opportunity to make things difficult for me, eventually leading to me being let go with the reason given, “it would be more suited to a local girl”. What saddened me most was his own daughter was a student designer in Paris, I couldn’t help but wonder how he would have felt if someone was to treat her the way he treated me, I wasn’t brave enough to say this to him at the time and often wished I had.
While I did find another job, I couldn’t seem to settle and soon after decided to return home to Ireland. My parents had moved house during my time away, and I remember vividly, waking up in the back bedroom of this unfamiliar house the morning after my return, aware of the fact that what I had thought was a fresh start hadn’t worked out, and at the age of 29 (old in those days😂) all I was left with was the suitcase of belongings sitting on the floor in front of me. Just as I felt myself dropping into despair at the picture my thoughts were creating, the sun suddenly began to shine through the bedroom window, I immediately felt my heart lift and fill with hope, a feeling I had experienced many times in my life. I had a growing awareness of how blessed I was, with my family, good health and a strong faith, all of which gave me the strength I needed to face an unknown future. In those moments I realised I was at a crossroads, I could get a job back in retail as before, or, as I had enjoyed my time working with computers I could do a course to build on that experience, which is what I did.
I won’t lie by saying it was an easy choice, I knew I would have very little money and no guarantee of a job with such little experience, but I was determined not to waste this opportunity for change. As part of the course you needed to do a three-month work placement, which you had to organise yourself. I had become friendly with a lady on the course, who suggested her husband might be able to arrange an interview with his company, which he did. As I arrived for my interview, I was blown away to find myself walking up the steps of the same office building I had been looking at one year previously, I was buzzing with excitement as I looked towards the bus stop I had been standing at, remembering the challenge I had set and thinking of all the synchronicities that had taken place to lead me there, once I took that first step to change. In that moment I had no doubt that this was not just a coincidence.
I am delighted to say I got the placement, which led to permanent employment and my life to change in ways I could never have imagined. As I progressed in my new career, I met many wonderful people who are still great friends today, and, best of all, I met my wonderful husband and went on to have two amazing children. Growing up, I believed our lives were planned out for us, and we had to follow a predestined path, now, I truly believe we can create whatever we wish to experience in our lives, we just need to decide what that is and go for it. Instead of sitting back and letting life happen to you, let go of your fearful thinking, in the knowledge no decision is wrong, it is all experience, which helps us to figure out what we don’t want in our lives, bringing us closer to what we do want, to that which makes us feel truly alive.
Also know, we all have innate Divine intelligence, which will help guide us to the life we want, if we allow it. Learning to trust your instincts, listening to your innate wisdom and being brave enough to take the path you feel most drawn to, can lead you to creating the life you have always dreamed of. I will be forever grateful to my friend Debbie for encouraging me in taking those first brave steps on my most profound, life changing journey. And now 23 years later as I find myself at a new crossroads in my impending career as a Life Coach, I am filled with wonder as my life continues to unfold.
Thanks for reading,
Namaste – I honour the place in you, in which the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you, of love, of light, of truth and of peace. And when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.